I'm coming out...

No, I'm not a lesbian, but I am leaving my denial behind and coming out and saying, I am the fat friend. It sucks to say it, but the more and more I think about it, the more it adds up. I went shopping with one of my best friends last night and I didn't buy anything but a sweater because everywhere we went didn't even carry my size. It was a horrible feeling, even though I've lost close to 25lbs in the past 6 months, I still feel like the same fat Emily I was in April. It sucks when you've worked your butt off dieting and exercising everyday only to still be too big to wear cool things. I don't have nice clothes, just things I call my "transition" clothes which I just bought hoping I'd lose some more weight which are now either too big or a bit small. The worst is not being able to wear those super cute boots with the skinny jeans tucked in because a.) skinny jeans and fat people are a match made in hell and b.) they don't make boots for people with ginormous calves. Since I've been working out my calves are now like solid muscle and huge! It's irritating. Especially when your thin friends are unhappy with their size 7 and constantly talk about how they wish they were skinny and what diets they're on and they already wear a 4. It sucks, it makes me want to cry. I feel like an idiot even talking about this to the whole freaking world because I'm absolutely positive that no one gives a crap anyways so I guess I'll quit my rant. I just needed to get it out so I could move onto becoming the "not-fat friend".

Closed Pin Productions YouTube!

We have a site! Visit it HERE and see some awesome videos. There aren't any yet, but the video library will be growing!

The Party's over

Well not really. It's probably just started. I just finished my video project class, I had my final viewing today for my "Space Oddity" video. Everyone thought it was funny and my group's work was pretty much the only non serious work that was shown. My group member are awesome so we're going to keep the dream alive and start making our own videos and we're going to have a YouTube channel for our stuff! I'll post that later when everything is set all up, but as for now it's just kind of in the works. If we're going to be doing this stuff I really need to upgrade my editing software. I'm starting an "Emily needs Final Cut Express" fund for myself so I can put away some money to make this work! I'm excited and I hope we make some good stuff!!

Uggs?

So, someone get this straight for me; for the past like 4 years I've been hearing that Ugg style boot are out of style (I prefer to call them fuzzyboots). Now I sheepishly hide mine at my parents house until it gets really cold and I bring them to my apartment and ONLY wear them as slippers. But of course it never fails, EVERY year everyone and their grandma is walking around in their fuzzyboots! Don't get me wrong, I love my fuzzyboots to death (even they're missing a lot of fuzz) I got a pair of emu's when they first became popular, but I never know when they're out of style or not! I guess they're just not the "trend" people thought they would be because everybody sells them and everybody still wears them! Make up your minds people! Knowing me I'll end up wearing them years after they've fallen off the fashion radar. I'm kind of a late bloomer when i comes to fashion trends; I JUST bought leggings and started wearing long necklaces. I also own only one pair of skinny jeans, but they stretch out and just become slouchy and ugly. Whatever, my point is that I just want to be absolutely sure that it's sociably acceptable for me to wear my fuzzyboots, because I'll say it loud and proud: I LOVE MY FUZZYBOOTS!

I am loving feather headbands. If only I was cool enough to pull them off, or had fancy places to go so I would have an excuse to wear them. They have a few on urbanoutfitters.com like the one above and I found a bunch of really cool ones on these etsy stores

NevaPlume

and

portobello

NOM NOM NOM

I swear I could live off of chinese restaurant steamed broccoli and rice. I try my hardest and my broccoli never comes out crisp! It's just a browny green mush that tastes about as good as it sounds.

Brian's out with his man-friends for the night which means I've been doing Emily stuff like: dancing around the apartment and sliding on the floor in my socks, singing really loud while being in the bathtub so long that the water gets cold, making face masks out of food, doing a yoga video I'd never do in front of anyone because of the crazy mantras I have to yell out. All in all it's been a good night, that and I've been on Youtube for like 2 hours watching music videos. I'm excited about christmas in Englad. I get to see my first pantomime, Dick Wittington. When I was younger my Dad would always great me with the line "turn again Dick Wittington" when I didn't do things like put my plate in the sink and/or flush the toilet so he thought it would be soo funny to go see a good ol' panto about him. We're really going for my grandmasince she loves stuff like that. I'm sure it'll be fun, way more fun than syphoning the spit out of someones mouth for 3 hours.

I've been in a poetry mood lately! It kinda blows because I've been soooo busy with other schoolwork that I've barely had any time to write down some of my ideas in my fabulous poetry notebook that I have. I've also been pretty stressed and depressed lately, I hope I don't need to be either of those to write anything good. I'm mustering up the courage to write something on here for the world to see. Well, for whoever reads this, if anyone! Ok, here it goes!

Mutt

"Where are you from?" they ask
and I can't give them a straight answer.
In school they ask for your hometown,
but for me I have two, I think...
I guess one could think that
Chesapeake, Virginia and
Ipswich are rather similar. Both are near
the coast, both have streets, though cars
drive in different directions. And Chesapeake is
next to Suffolk, and Ipswich in inside another Suffolk
which is also close to another Norfolk. They both
have Indian restaurants, Wal-marts (or ASDA),
gas stations, KFC, Pizza Hut, McDonalds,
but no Taco Bell, the one clear difference.
I've been strawberry picking in both, I have friends
in both, I have family in both. Can they be meshed?
A hybridization of homey feelings? Chesawich
or Ipapeake? If I choose one over the other
will I be shunned? Will the townsfolk rally together with their
shovels (or spades) and charge down Mount Pleasant Road, or
Norwich road and exile me, leaving me again
with no hometown? With the same confusion I had before
filling out online surveys and standardized test sheets.
I am a mutt, awaft in homelessness. I may have two houses,
but which is the home?

I'm pretty sure that was crap, but I literally just thoguht of it and wrote it down. It definitely needs some workshopping or something. Well, that's my contribution for the night. Since this will be my last alone night for a while I better get a musical in while I still can! Goodnight all!!

I love this poem!!! Thanks Dr. Igloria!!

GIRL WRITING A LETTER
by William Carpenter

A thief drives to the museum in his black van. The night
watchman says Sorry, closed, you have to come back tomorrow.
The thief sticks the point of his knife in the guard's ear.
I haven't got all evening, he says, I need some art.
Art is for pleasure, the guard says, not possession, you can't
something, and then the duct tape is going across his mouth.
Don't worry, the thief says, we're both on the same side.
He finds the Dutch Masters and goes right for a Vermeer:
"Girl Writing a Letter." The thief knows what he's doing.
He has a Ph.D. He slices the canvas on one edge from
the shelf holding the salad bowls right down to the
square of sunlight on the black and white checked floor.
The girl doesn't hear this, she's too absorbed in writing
her letter, she doesn't notice him until too late. He's
in the picture. He's already seated at the harpsichord.
He's playing the G Minor Sonata by Domenico Scarlatti,
which once made her heart beat till it passed the harpsichord
and raced ahead and waited for the music to catch up.
She's worked on this letter for three hundred and twenty years.
Now a man's here, and though he's dressed in some weird clothes,
he's playing the harpsichord for her, for her alone, there's no one
else alive in the museum. The man she was writing to is dead --
time to stop thinking about him -- the artist who painted her is dead.
She should be dead herself, only she has an ear for music
and a heart that's running up the staircase of the Gardner Museum
with a man she's only known for a few minutes, but it's
true, it feels like her whole life. So when the thief
hands her the knife and says you slice the paintings out
of their frames, you roll them up, she does it; when he says
you put another strip of duct tape over the guard's mouth
so he'll stop talking about aesthetics, she tapes him, and when
the thief puts her behind the wheel and says, drive, baby,
the night is ours, it is the Girl Writing a Letter who steers
the black van on to the westbound ramp for Storrow Drive
and then to the Mass Pike, it's the Girl Writing a Letter who
drives eighty miles an hour headed west into a country
that's not even discovered yet, with a known criminal, a van
full of old masters and nowhere to go but down, but for the
Girl Writing a Letter these things don't matter, she's got a beer
in her free hand, she's on the road, she's real and she's in love.

Why is it that Brazilians are like genetically predestined to be 9483579876048576 hotter than everyone else ever and British people are world renowned for being, lets not beat around the bush, butt ugly? It's not fair! Whatever, I just got out of class and I'm contemplating either working out or taking a nap. I haven't been sleeping well so I'm super tired so I should probably nap, PLUS I already took a shower. I should really workout thought because the people downstairs love to bang on the ceiling whenever the floor makes the faintest squeak when I'm trying to work out, BUT for them smoking weed and having wild parties every weekend is fine for them. Only four more days until Brian gets back! I'm glad I won't be by myself anymore, I feel like a hermit locked up in this apartment from 5pm to 9am. Tomorrow I'm going surfing for the first time in a long time and its supposed to rain :( oh well, we'll be int he water anyways! Well I've made up my mind that I'm napping so later people(s)

Newbie!

Actually I've had like six other blogs that I never kept up with. I hope this one dos not see the same fate as the others. This blog probably won't carry an ongoing theme, not that I ever wanted it to, it may also only be read by myself and terribly uninteresting. Oh well, it's my blarg :)